It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
