Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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