You're completely useless in the revolution.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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