I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
