My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
