no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
