There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
