I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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