Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
