I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
only if we run a train.
done.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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