People in love make me want to vomit
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
