I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
