i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
