She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
