gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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