is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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