He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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