Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
