I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
