Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
