She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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