All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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