not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You are the jesus of drinking
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
