he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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