when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
