i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
