so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
