This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
