i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
