Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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