I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
