So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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