We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
