How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
it was like eating out sand paper
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
