i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
