Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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