make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
