Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
