I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
