Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize