We're like a lot better than the average bears
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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