he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
She announced her abortion via fbk
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
