you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
