Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
