i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize