just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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