babies were throwing up all over the place
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
