i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
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