I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
3 2 1 whiskey
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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