It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
