apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just want to make out with him forever
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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