So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
