I just cut my nipple shaving
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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