I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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