Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Randomize
