Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
