His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
