Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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