shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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