You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
