Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize