Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My liver just had a heart attack.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
