I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
this will be a night to untag.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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